Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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