Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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