the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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