gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize