Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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