He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
