her vagine was all disorganized.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
