you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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