i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
false alarm. still invincible.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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