Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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