He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
