she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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