I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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