i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize