But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
