I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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