I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
