hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
