So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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