hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
