i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
