Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
