i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
