I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
