my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
we're making bets on your personal life
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I deserve this hangover.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize