i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
