Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize