right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
