i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
