I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
