Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize