and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
