you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
