I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
