make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
