She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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