i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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