When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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