dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
