This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
