does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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