Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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