the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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