is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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