ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
