Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
