just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
