Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
