You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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