I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
