note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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