Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
