What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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