Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize