My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
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