I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My penis needs a shock collar
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Terrible idea I love it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
