The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize