oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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