Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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