i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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