We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
