Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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